Yesterday morning while getting ready for work I nearly fainted coming out of the shower. I sat on my bed to collect myself and realized I was abnormally shaking. I had to go to the emergency room.
All this week my health has been deteriorating. Fatigue, lightheadedness and lack of energy plagued me. While in the emergency room, I took 4 tests and the doctors found nothing wrong except for a slight high reading for blood pressure.
The physician told me that I was most likely dehydrated and have a minor iron deficiency. That makes a lot of sense because I haven’t been eating my usual 3 meals a day and not drinking enough water. I was told to get plenty of rest and take the next day off, which meant I have a total of 5 days off. However, yesterday was like a workday since I was in that hospital for 8.5 hours.
So far Day 1 has been unexpected yet enlightening. My EAP appointment went well even though my physical health went downhill as the day went on.
I feel like its a setback because the time I thought I would have to spend on my project wasn’t there at all. Getting home took longer than expected and it took a lot out of me. My performance suffered and I feel like a failure. To me, its just yet another sabotage although time is something no one can control. I have unnecessary baggage.
I’ll keep writing everyday my challenge entries to keep my readers up to date. A full Day 1 entry about today is coming tomorrow.
Time to toss New Year’s Resolutions out the ballroom and “Vice-Shame” your way to success.
New Year’s Resolutions never worked for me because I never gave it any power; never any thought; didn’t take it seriously. Perhaps there’s an alternative way of making public my resolutions and sticking to them – by making public my faults I want to change. I’ll call it “vice-shaming”.
I suffer from compulsive behaviors and extraordinary procrastination. I believe the procrastination is due to depression, which seems to be more of the case since after I graduated college and around the time I started building and trying to launch my websites. Anyone who suffers from depression knows how it feels when you try to set goals and to-do lists only to see none of it done, and you taking a beating because you feel you can’t live up to the most simple things. Depression leaks into everything you are and do. You might have it so long that it becomes normal practice not to feel like doing anything because you have lost your drive to even try. I can’t even call it “trying” anymore when I map out what I want to do with my life because I am always self-sabotaging my efforts.
In this extraordinary case, what does a person do when most of their efforts are self-sabotaging? Perhaps by “Vice-shaming”, they can start to see the areas they need to work on. Here’s how it goes:
A typical New Year’s Resolution: I want to lose or will lose 10 pounds.
Assigning a realistic goal: “I will lose 10 pounds by July 2015 or 2 pounds a month by: cutting back 1500 calories a week and doing 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week.”
Vice-Shaming: “Eating 2 cups of ice cream before I go to bed gives me a headache in the morning. I don’t like nor want a headache to start off my day anymore.”
Solution: “Maybe a half an apple can satisfy my taste for something.”
With the Vice-Shaming, you didn’t persecute yourself into making a change. You acknowledged a behavior and then said you don’t want to repeat it because it made you feel a certain way. As you acknowledge behaviors and observe how they make you and others feel around you, then you start to change from the inside out.
It’s always about feeling good about YOU. When YOU feel good and happy, others will want to be around you more often and they get that energy and feel good too. Now you’ll be SPREADING the good feelings all over the place. Therefore, change is good!
My Review of Curves Meal Plan and Coaching Services
I used the Meal Plan, Tracking and Coaching for about 3 months until I stopped abruptly. I stopped mostly due to the new website design which made things difficult to log in my meals in a calendar. But before the new website design, I would go to my meal plan and select a week to edit. I would manually choose meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and choose snacks. Of course, this is only useful if you predict what you are going to have that week. If you order out or eat something different, you’ll have to type in exactly what you ate for a meal or snack.
The purpose of the meal plan is to stay on course with the meals that help in weight loss. This is of course in addition to your exercise and tracking activities. There isn’t particularly anything wrong with the meal plan as there are a bit of meals and snacks to choose from and it offerings change when you hit new levels. However, I found it troubling to continue to use it since I am not always the one who does the grocery shopping and that there are other people in the household who are not following this meal plan.
As a person who gives into temptation with food too often, I probably would say I was doomed from the start on the meal plan. I didn’t have the mindset to be successful with it.
The coaching sessions is really just monitoring your weight loss and providing emotional and spiritual support during your journey. It is helpful I would like to like to continue it but I would drop the meal plan and would rather just track my portions.
I went on a hiatus from working out due to my new job. I started in March but I stopped going to the gym in February when I had a temporary sickness. I also don’t work out in my home. I do know I have lost some inches but I haven’t measured myself since January or February. I also haven’t gone to Zumba class since February.
I now go outside most of the week. I work Monday thru Friday and sometimes go out after work. That means more energy and more sunshine for my skin and bones. My social life has improved as well. At least that aspect of my life is improved.
My goals starting next week is to get back on track with exercise. I want to exercise in the mornings for 30-35 minutes and go to the gym in the evenings. I also want to go back to Zumba class but I won’t push it.
My second entry in The Weight Loss Diaries. I lost a total of 12.5 inches and 17.5 lbs since August 2012.
Its been about three months since my last entry in The Weight Loss Diaries. I’ve had some ups, downs and a shocker. I’ll give you the bad news first. The beloved gym that helped me to get to where I am is closing in June, unless a buyer comes forward before June 8th, 2013. However, my last day will be May 23rd, 2013. This is very sad news but it will not discourage me for I know I can continue on my journey.
The good news is that from my last weigh in, I made the second wall again! Making the second wall means that I have lost a total of between 12 – 24 inches. The first wall is from 1 – 11 inches, the third wall is between 24+ inches, and the fourth wall is the biggest ‘losers’. If the gym is closing in a couple of months, there is a good chance I could make the third wall but I will have the most powerful will power to achieve that.
I recently found a nice women’s apparel store in Brooklyn, New York but their biggest size is a 26. I am a 28. I have said to myself that I am going to lose 2 dresses sizes so I can fit those clothes by the summer. Therefore I started exercising at home in addition to the gym to have at least an hour of exercise. I won’t say that I am following a strict schedule, although I should because growing better habits now will help me in the long run.
Usually every weight loss story starts with how the person was overweight a majority of their life and how it affected everything that they did or did not do. Who really cares about that stuff? Let’s start with the here and now.
Before starting Curves
I already knew I had a problem with maintaining energy levels just to complete exercise routines. I decided to join a gym to help me with that. Little did I know there was a Curves gym 8 minutes from my residence! I joined the program on my birthday, July 23rd, 2012. Every 23rd of every month I have to get weighed in. These were my weigh-in measurements the day I joined: Bust: 66.75 Waist: 62 Abdomen: 65.75 Hips: 66 Thighs: 34 Arms: 22.5 Weight: 393 lbs Body Fat %: E4 (above 50%) Date: 7/23/2012
I rarely take pictures of myself but here’s a small gallery from 2010 – 2012